Why choir makes me so happy.

(With hopes that analyzing it doesn't break it.)

This is why:

"louder" and "darker" and "you've got the melody, take the lead" and "watch me for your entrance there, altos, look up from the music, you know this" and "parenthetical tenors, always parenthetical" and "text! qual means torture" meld into a continuous monologue that I hear like another accompaniment even when our director isn't saying it.

the right note all around me, and the harmonies, and the wrong notes sometimes, but: all around, enveloping.

standing up straight. the time to support consciously, breathe full, to *be* correctly. (incidentally and almost related, really neat aikido page here.)

success: oh my god, that noise, we made that. yes.

and the emotional trip. angergrieffearcomfortlovejoytriumph, everything you feel if only listening, eyes closed, in concert-dark -- but magnified, exponential, superlative.

(what did I do all last year and a half without singing?)