file under "bitter and old"

So one month later, the moral of the story is:

In the end, it's not his job to take care of me any more.
In fact, it wasn't ever his job.
That means that I need to recognize when my emotional needs take priority, and I need to take care of myself, and I need to watch out for myself -- even watch out for myself first, because nobody else is going to do that.
And doing that is a good thing. It's a selfish thing, but it's also a good thing. There is an intersection.

It seems obvious, but it isn't.