(no subject)

I ritualize firsts and lasts, especially lasts -- because when it's the first, you can't necessarily tell if it's going to be important, but it's often easy to tell when something important is over. Moving out of my room in EC: there had to be that moment of looking around and contemplating the room as bare as when I moved in (but much more yellow now); my last exam; my last class. Before that: last days of high school, of work at the library and at the school, last time seeing people before they leave, and so on. It's what helps me feel things are completed and move on; I get jarred a little bit when lasts come unexpectedly.

Of course, it means I dwell and dwell on things that maybe aren't worth dwelling on. (Unless I'm really forced to move on and gogogo -- packing up last summer to leave for the internship, for instance, and packing up from there to go back.) So my extended slow summer of transition was maybe not the best plan, in retrospect, although I don't think diving straight into work would've worked either.

All of which goes to say: I swear at some point soon I will stop being angsty and introspective and start being interesting again, really.