godream

so long as i sing with inflection
that makes you feel that I'll convey
some inner truth or vast reflection
but i've said nothing so far
and i can keep it up for as long as it takes
it don't matter who you are
if i'm doing my job it's your resolve that breaks

because the hook brings you back
i ain't tellin' you no lie
the hook brings you back
on this you can rely

there is something amiss
i am being insincere
in fact i don't mean any of this
still my confession draws you near
to confuse the issue i refer
to familiar heroes from long a ago
no matter how much peter loved her
what made the pan refuse to grow

because the hook brings you back
i ain't tellin' you no lie
the hook brings you back
on this you can rely

suck it in suck it in suck it in
if you're Rin Tin Tin or Anne Boleyn
make a desperate move or else you'll win
and then begin to see what you're doing to me
this MTV is not for free
it's so PC it's killing me
so desperately I sing to thee of love
sure but also rage and hate and pain and fear of self
and I can't keep these feeling on the shelf
i've tried well no in fact I lied
could be financial suicide but i've got too much pride inside to hide
or slide i'll do as i'll decide
and let it ride till until i've died
and only then shall i abide this tide
of catchy little tunes
of hip three minute diddys
i wanna bust all your balloons
i wanna burn of all your cities to the ground
i've found i will not mess around
unless i play then hey i will go on all day
hear what i say i have a prayer to pray
that's really all this was
and when i'm feeling stuck and need a buck
i don't rely on luck because

the hook brings you back
i ain't tellin' you no lie
the hook brings you back
on this you can rely...
--blues traveler "hook"

There, see, that burst of song made me feel better, as bursts of song often do. Not much, but better. I love singing, I love playing, I love music -- yet this evening's rehearsal only made me feel bad, despite the mood jolt music gives me. I have concluded that this is because I hate people. *sigh* Unfortunately I include myself in that -- I made a bunch of stupid mistakes I shouldn't have, but nor should I beat myself up over them, that's also a mistake, and I don't think I even have to point out the circle here so I won't. Plus I'm pretty sure that once again I have all the fun and games of PMS to magnify all of this to ridiculous proportions...

On the plus side, when my stepmom showed up to pick me up after work to go to rehearsal, she brought me dinner, which made me very happy 'cause I skipped break and didn't get random baked goodies then, and I was starrrrving. Also I finally celebrated my birthday, and recieved an electric guitar (!!!) so I will now bask in the joy of acquisition.

...

OK, basking done. Guess I should think about the AIME tomorrow morning, my big paper due Wednesday in philosophy, how I did on today's test on same, everything I have to do before battlebots next week, all that good stuff... ack. :/

Is there anyone out there who would like an extra helping of stress? Because my cup runneth over and I'm really more than willing to share.

I am now off to read Kate Elliot's Jaran instead of thinking about the myriad range of homework I have to do; good night!