there's nothing crueler than hope
Jul. 18th, 2003 05:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
godreamYou know that feeling you get when you thought you were about to get something really great, or get away from something sucky, have a nice positive change... and then it gets ripped out from under you? Kinda like the universe is alternately laughing and kicking you?
...yeah, well. Now I do too. It oughta be a small thing, what I'm upset about, but it was big to me. God I wanted it. And I don't want to go too deep into fun details, 'cause the rental units monitor my internet usage and every last letter I type and because I don't want to make a big deal out of it, I don't want confrontation with the others involved. Or if there's a confrontation, I want it to be me punching and then walking away with a nice cathartic feeling, not emotional blech conversationy stuff that I suck at, one of those conversations where no matter how it starts it finishes with me crying and feeling guilty even if I still can't figure out what I did wrong. Don't need more bad feelings here, got plenty already, thanks.
And I think everyones' train of thought who's reading this is going much like Xander's in the below quote, so enough already now. :P
XANDER: Whoa, well, let's stop this crazy whirligig of fun! I'm dizzy!
from Buffy 1.7 - Angel
...yeah, well. Now I do too. It oughta be a small thing, what I'm upset about, but it was big to me. God I wanted it. And I don't want to go too deep into fun details, 'cause the rental units monitor my internet usage and every last letter I type and because I don't want to make a big deal out of it, I don't want confrontation with the others involved. Or if there's a confrontation, I want it to be me punching and then walking away with a nice cathartic feeling, not emotional blech conversationy stuff that I suck at, one of those conversations where no matter how it starts it finishes with me crying and feeling guilty even if I still can't figure out what I did wrong. Don't need more bad feelings here, got plenty already, thanks.
And I think everyones' train of thought who's reading this is going much like Xander's in the below quote, so enough already now. :P
XANDER: Whoa, well, let's stop this crazy whirligig of fun! I'm dizzy!
from Buffy 1.7 - Angel
