godream

So I'm sure you all have been waiting with bated breath to hear how I did on exams, really. Passed everything, hurrah! Don't know all the actual grades yet, but for now I'm happy with just the line of Ps.

How come all of us who just got home from our first time away, at college, are all so completely unhappy to be back? Seriously. I'm feeling the same way too -- much more upset and stressed, and my sleeping habits are getting even more screwed up, to the extent where I'm pretty sure I've spent more time asleep than awake over the last several days. Part of it's probably the normal Christmas stress, shopping and crowds and money and plans and obligations and everything, acting on me and everyone around me as well. For me, I think there's three big places this is coming from. One, being reminded again of all the places I've always messed up, everything I spent high school arguing with my parents about (keeping my room clean, getting my license, dealing with my grandparents) -- I feel like I'm almost expected to solve all this crap that's been hanging around for years in the space of two weeks, as well as deal with all the Christmas stuff, and what happened to going home over vacation to relax? And at the same time there's the whole temporary loss of independence: I can't just randomly decide to go places anymore, there's no T at home and there's not a lot worth walking to in fifteen degree weather; I don't decide when and where and what I want to eat; all that stuff I learned to take for granted awfully quickly. And then there's the obvious not seeing all my college friends for a while -- we'll pause here for everyone to go "awwwwwwwww". ... Okay, got that out of your system? Yeah. So, for those of you who forged through this entire paragraph: think that about sums it up, or are there other factors I'm forgetting about?

(A disclaimer, for family members who may be reading this: I love you all to death, I'm glad to spend time with you, please don't kick me out. It's really not your fault, I think it's just one of those pesky growing-up things. You know?)

In other news,