ICHGTSNLLAS

[godream]

Damn.

I forgot how much I hate, hate, hate feeling dumb. Not just ordinary run-of-the-mill "wow, that was stupid" or naive or thoughtless or unintelligent or any of a host of adjectives, though I'm more than familiar with that too. The feeling of: "here is a concept which I can't wrap my brain around without serious outside help"... I hate it. Maybe because too much of me is wrapped up in being the smart one (which is a hell of a lot harder -- in fact, for me, downright impossible -- to pull off here at college). Maybe it's just general stubbornness and pride. Either way, I should learn to get over it, but I'm not sure I can.

...

ETA: So would it be better or worse if, instead of whining/moaning/ranting about school, I just write "I Could Have Gone To Some Nice Little Liberal Arts School" and have it over with? It could even be an acronym. ICHGTSNLLAS. Succinct and to the point.

Comments

[godream.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but maybe the odds would be better of having someone else feel dumb *with* me. Generally I love that this school is all about the being surrounded by intimidatingly smart people, but it SUCKS when you're the only one who takes hours and hours to get through the silly basic circuit problems.

(Probably still not a unique problem, but I'm having a nice wallow-in-self-pity here anyways.)

[minttown1.livejournal.com]

(I am totally not faulting you for that. Was just trying to be helpful. :))

[godream.livejournal.com]

I understand. Thanks. :)