since i don't feel like making more than one entry

[godream]

... Look, a buffet of LJ-cuts!


Blues

Baritone made to bear loads
of emotion, husky promises and dirty lies.
Oh, you carry me away--
you’re my drug, my irresponsibility
the reason I can’t leave. Until midnight,
when the storm and your tempestuous tone
tell me it’s too late to go.

You groan in the morning
like the creak of an old tired bed
that never aspired to more than one;
like the growl of some beast, naturally
born to flaunt plumage and not to nest.
I never wanted to expect warmth,
to fall asleep to someone else’s scent.

I know your voice is just vibration
I know feeling is just friction
I know the structure of the chemicals
that twist my thoughts to you.
I know patterns of passion
as I watch you in the wild
I know the siren’s song
and it’s the blues.

Ever since before I knew you
you’ve been the tears
I can’t sing away.







before:
You swam out to fetch the symbolic red bucket
washed up on the sandbar
What it meant--
I never really cared.

after:
You swim out to fetch a symbolic red bucket
abandoned on the sandbar.
I never really cared
what it might have meant.

Slightly better, I think, so the Fountain will be suffering through this on Monday.







bumper stickers
the illustrated guide to breaking your computer
about music and marketing
also, "Blogging Their Hearts Out" -- "high school blogging appears to develop maturity as well as creativity"
where i'll be for half of spring break
and the other half
I googled for "things that would amuse me" and this is what I found



All right, folks, looking for a bit of advice here. How do you flirt with a guy you're friends with without seeming:
a.) desperate
b.) insane
c.) stalkerish
d.) like just friends wouldn't be enough

...And just when I was resigned and nice and comfortable, I get my excuses pulled out from under me. Would guys like me, do you think, if I lost thirty pounds and wore makeup?

Comments

[arousing-one.livejournal.com]

I like the first poem a lot. I like the new change in the second stanza, except the change from "swam" to "swim", since the rest is in past tense, and before it flowed a little better, in my opinion.

As to how to flirt with a friend? I always flirt. I can't control it. I also never mean to, and it's kinda sad. And I always seem desperate, insane, stalkerish, and like being friends would never be enough for my "insatiable sexual appetite". Eeep. But...I think if you just look at him a bit more, maybe touch him a little more (brush hands, maybe ruffle/fiddle with his hair, etc.), and keep teasing and smiling, you'll get somewhere. If he's responsive, it'll also get easier for you until maybe one day you can try a peck on the cheek or something.

Also...I wouldn't know about the weight thing, since, well, I'm almost thin, with blah bits of flab, and guys don't go for simply 'cause, well, I'm not "pretty" (grrr) but my instinctual reaction is that they wouldn't. It's a cultural thing that we think most men want to date stick thin girls, but in reality I'm not sure how many of them are just naturally attracted to slightly curvier babes, since, given survival of the fittest and all that, who would want a girl shaped like a board who has a 100% chance of splitting her manly body in two the minute a baby tried to pass through her non-existant hips? Like I said, I really wouldn't know. I can give you the opinion, I guess, of a bi girl, albeit a weird one. I'm attracted almost entirely to personality. But, if I ever were to wind up with a woman, a curvy, childbearing body is what I'd go for. Or really small and willowy, one or the other. But large breasts, and especially a curvy butt...yummy. And personality, which you've got plenty of. As to the makeup thing...I don't usually wear it. Extreme, goth makeup is...wow...but the rest is just okay. It's the last thing I notice about someone, and, if they wear a lot, it can be unattractive simply in that they're not comfy in their own skin. A simple, delicate lipgloss could never hurt, and I'm a sucker for eyeliner, but don't do it for guys. Try it and see if you like it. But don't change yourself drastically, or compromise your beliefs; in the end, you'll want someone who loves you for you.

[godream.livejournal.com]

Hm. Thanks. The story behind The Guy, not that you asked but here's the deal: I'm on the school robotics team. I'm the only girl. And, well, you get a bunch of guys together and they talk about a.) paintball and b.) sex. With lots more of b than a. At least, that's what happens with these guys. They were demonstrating the way their minds work -- I said "okay, 'the weather is nice today'. How can you make that twisted?" Immediately one of them parroted the line back in the smarmiest voice imaginable, adding "if you know what I mean..." to the end, and suddenly it was all sorts of wrong.

Not that this is a bad thing, really, the guys always crack me up and I need to laugh more. But I'm absolutely petrified of making life ridiculously awkward were they all to discover the Crush on the Guy. For a while he had a girlfriend in California and all this was moot (not to mention a number of other issues) but now he doesn't, and I feel like I should just do something about this whole crush thing already... Really I just need to get over myself and my deep fear of looking dumb most of all, I guess. Lots of work on the way, though.

LMAO at the board-shaped comment. And I'm trying to think of some way to defend the makeup thing but really it all spins round to this whole one-of-the-guys issue and The Guy issue and you're right, it should be about me. (Me me me me me me -- er, where was I?) *g* And if you mention to Dave that I'm stressing and considering wearing makeup he will laugh his head off, I guarantee it. It's totally not a me thing -- you make an excellent point about being comfy in one's own skin -- and it would probably lead to a comedy of errors of bad-sitcom proportions. Which may or may not actually stop me. :P

Anyways. Yeah. Thanks, and you're totally right. :D I think this comment sounds a lot more down than I'm feeling, and that's mostly my weird sense of humor and possibly pms, and also lack of sleep, which I'll now remedy.