![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Nov. 20th, 2003 10:41 pmlast one in the
streetlight-shadows
and leather,
absorbed in
thought, reflected in puddles.
last one in the
spotlight-dreams
and curtains,
covering the
stars, born in darkness.
last one with the
candle-brightness
and wax,
burning to the
end, spilling over with beginnings.
( now, let me ruin this for you )
streetlight-shadows
and leather,
absorbed in
thought, reflected in puddles.
last one in the
spotlight-dreams
and curtains,
covering the
stars, born in darkness.
last one with the
candle-brightness
and wax,
burning to the
end, spilling over with beginnings.
( now, let me ruin this for you )
"fade to yellow"
Nov. 18th, 2003 09:59 pmme:
See me.
See me run.
Like a children's book from reality
I flee...
watch me flee.
from you, from youth
from gently loving ghostly reminders
from shadows of magnets
on aged newspaper clippings
"one hundred percent" blood
red ink on spelling tests.
When I pack teddy bears, rubbed bare
from nervous thumbs alone
in the dark for the first time,
it's like I'm still there.
This is my fairy tale:
Closing the attic door I pretend nothing has changed.
(Feedback welcomed as always. I think the "blood" doesn't fit but the phrase 'one hundred percent blood' appealed to my sense of wordplay so much I couldn't resist.)
See me.
See me run.
Like a children's book from reality
I flee...
watch me flee.
from you, from youth
from gently loving ghostly reminders
from shadows of magnets
on aged newspaper clippings
"one hundred percent" blood
red ink on spelling tests.
When I pack teddy bears, rubbed bare
from nervous thumbs alone
in the dark for the first time,
it's like I'm still there.
This is my fairy tale:
Closing the attic door I pretend nothing has changed.
(Feedback welcomed as always. I think the "blood" doesn't fit but the phrase 'one hundred percent blood' appealed to my sense of wordplay so much I couldn't resist.)
(no subject)
Nov. 14th, 2003 06:34 pm6803. I want to hit 7000 at least before I go forage for dinner and such.
And now for something completely different... ( shield your eyes: a picture of me )
And now for something completely different... ( shield your eyes: a picture of me )
regarding NaNoWriMo
Nov. 14th, 2003 04:04 pmMy main character is filling out a job application.
I'm writing out all the dates. June twenty second, nineteen ninety five. (Because it's five more words that 6/22/95.)
I feel so dirty. But it'll be worth it if I hit ten thousand today... four thousand some more words, cause I have to make up for slacking off the past two weeks. Then in theory I write five thousand more tomorrow and Sunday, and then 2200 every day till the end of the month. Yeah right, but a girl can hope.
I'm writing out all the dates. June twenty second, nineteen ninety five. (Because it's five more words that 6/22/95.)
I feel so dirty. But it'll be worth it if I hit ten thousand today... four thousand some more words, cause I have to make up for slacking off the past two weeks. Then in theory I write five thousand more tomorrow and Sunday, and then 2200 every day till the end of the month. Yeah right, but a girl can hope.
I woke up at four-thirty this morning to write that Macbeth essay, because I got home after school & work & robotics & the concert at nine and I was just dead.
It's not due till Monday.
Sometimes I hate the world.
On the other hand, now I have no excuse (except for those Angel S2 dvds that are just begging to be watched) not to work on my nanowrimo project, which is a good thing, right?
It's not due till Monday.
Sometimes I hate the world.
On the other hand, now I have no excuse (except for those Angel S2 dvds that are just begging to be watched) not to work on my nanowrimo project, which is a good thing, right?
I love metaphors. Somehow, nine times out of ten, when I explain something it turns out to be "see, it's like this, because:". Linked lists are like treasure hunts, iterators are a kid following the clues. And when I talk I use my hands a lot -- I was explaining this afternoon to a teacher how come she had to save images to the web server, and somehow I couldn't without extravagant gestures. "You have to save here" -- points toward server room -- "as opposed to there" -- waving in general direction of math hall and pi server -- "because then all these people can see it" -- gesture encompassing the room, and the world at large -- "as opposed to just the math department." Hands together, small. ... That was actually the version with only the relevant gesticulation, there was about twice that much IRL.
And the thing is: ( look at me, I'm deep! or at least loquacious. )
So -- essay question: do I think like a poet or a programmer? (Or just another geek with too much time on her hands. Points will be deducted for choosing this answer.)
I just realized when I say metaphor half the time I mean simile. Feel free to interchange the two in your mind to try to make this ramble make sense. Or not.
And the thing is: ( look at me, I'm deep! or at least loquacious. )
So -- essay question: do I think like a poet or a programmer? (Or just another geek with too much time on her hands. Points will be deducted for choosing this answer.)
I just realized when I say metaphor half the time I mean simile. Feel free to interchange the two in your mind to try to make this ramble make sense. Or not.
I can't decide whether or not this depresses me. Quote is by artist Andrew Wyeth.
(no subject)
Nov. 11th, 2003 05:27 pmAnother totally unproductive day. But it was relaxing, at least.
( for once, a quiz that wasn't a surprise )
( for once, a quiz that wasn't a surprise )
must... follow... crowd...
Nov. 11th, 2003 02:19 pmFEBRUARY:
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality.Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislike unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality.
the chess report
Nov. 8th, 2003 04:01 pmSo I went to my very first chess tournament today. Played in the under 1000 rating, age 19 and under division, four games. Won two, lost two. ( the blow by blow )
So I ended up in fourth place, got a shiny medal for it. Would have been second (dangit) except for my utter stupidity in that last game. But oh well -- didn't suck too badly for my first competition. I ended up with a preliminary rating in the neighborhood of 817, I think. And to some extent it's probably a good thing I didn't beat that last guy, since my rating might be significantly higher if I had and then I'd have to play harder people next time. Um, that sentence was supposed to be optimism... where did it go wrong?
So I ended up in fourth place, got a shiny medal for it. Would have been second (dangit) except for my utter stupidity in that last game. But oh well -- didn't suck too badly for my first competition. I ended up with a preliminary rating in the neighborhood of 817, I think. And to some extent it's probably a good thing I didn't beat that last guy, since my rating might be significantly higher if I had and then I'd have to play harder people next time. Um, that sentence was supposed to be optimism... where did it go wrong?
i should STILL be doing homework
Nov. 6th, 2003 08:47 pmAlso, I did ( the song meme. )
I'll leave it as an exercise for the reader to figure out which of those were deliberately ironic and/or blatantly contradictory. None are completely random, really.
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif){kind=small}
Just watched Rebel Without A Cause. I'd never seen it before... it was interesting. I don't want to say I liked it, because the word seems to imply more like "I liked Under the Tuscan Sun", woohoo, happy, light, frivolous -- and that wasn't this. But it definitely made me think, not least about how strangely the issues discussed are still around. Change the slang and the clothes and it's exactly like now. Go figure.
I'm really, really tired -- I slept through the fifteen minutes where ( quick spoiler ) -- but I'll probably have more to say about this tomorrow.
Why am I bothering to put spoilertags around information about a movie that's three times older than I am? Because I'm silly, and tired, that's why.
I'm really, really tired -- I slept through the fifteen minutes where ( quick spoiler ) -- but I'll probably have more to say about this tomorrow.
Why am I bothering to put spoilertags around information about a movie that's three times older than I am? Because I'm silly, and tired, that's why.
choices, choices
Nov. 4th, 2003 07:51 pmI could go to an early screening of the Matrix Revolutions tomorrow. I am tempted beyond belief. But I've got all my academics tomorrow, and though I'm doing fine I kinda don't want to miss some. Calculus and English, specifically. I don't care that much about Astronomy and Physics since I already know what I'm doing in the latter and the former is sloooow-paced... but the other two...
The other thing is that I don't want to miss the Harmony rehearsal. I got a note in my box today politely complaining about missing last week's rehearsal -- which I DIDN'T miss, I was there dangit! I missed another club's meeting to BE there. So I'm a bit annoyed at that. And I'm worried that if I "miss" two weeks (regardless that I didn't miss last week) Bad Things will happen. But maybe I'd be able to be back at school and get to the rehearsal -- though that's when excuses starts to sound implausible. "I got better..."
( retroactive trick-or-treating )
The other thing is that I don't want to miss the Harmony rehearsal. I got a note in my box today politely complaining about missing last week's rehearsal -- which I DIDN'T miss, I was there dangit! I missed another club's meeting to BE there. So I'm a bit annoyed at that. And I'm worried that if I "miss" two weeks (regardless that I didn't miss last week) Bad Things will happen. But maybe I'd be able to be back at school and get to the rehearsal -- though that's when excuses starts to sound implausible. "I got better..."
( retroactive trick-or-treating )
(no subject)
Oct. 30th, 2003 06:34 pmIf I were an hour and a half late getting home, there would be no excuse. Not "I forgot", not "I have a lot to keep track of lately", not "I'm so busy", not "I had to do something". I'd be very, very grounded.
If the parentals are an hour and a half late, they get to make excuses and bids for pity. I deserve the pity, d****t, I'm the one who's been waiting for ninety minutes with no f*****g idea of where you are, if you just forgot or if you got in a car accident somewhere or fell and broke your leg or WHAT. I'm the one who gets to feel bad, who should be pitied and appeased so WHY do I feel like I should be apologizing to you?
I hate it when the world's not fair.
If the parentals are an hour and a half late, they get to make excuses and bids for pity. I deserve the pity, d****t, I'm the one who's been waiting for ninety minutes with no f*****g idea of where you are, if you just forgot or if you got in a car accident somewhere or fell and broke your leg or WHAT. I'm the one who gets to feel bad, who should be pitied and appeased so WHY do I feel like I should be apologizing to you?
I hate it when the world's not fair.
